Something set me off on a wild train of thought today. Would you believe it was an Egg McMuffin?

Scandal.

In question was a McDonald’s billboard that I witnessed on my way to work this morning. I don’t have a picture of the advertisement, so I’ll illustrate.

BILLBOARD: A lonely, non-scrambled egg sits silently bemoaning it’s existence. A glorious Egg McMuffin, encased inside a cloudy thought balloon, rests overhead.

CAPTION: “What every egg dreams of becoming.”

Modern marketing has always been one of those things that stops me from ever watching television. As a secular person and devout agnostic, I usually refrain from engaging in any form of what I would consider product or hero worship, with the exception of a young senator from Illinois. Having watched a good amount of television in the past, and being a living, breathing human being with eyes and ears, my exposure rate to advertisements probably ranks higher than any person born before the 1970s, and it is a daily-affirmed goal to try and avoid any typical noise about discount sales or the world’s number one golf ball provider.

But try as I might, this one slipped in there, and it’s been rattling around my brain all day long.

Not the mechanics of said advertisement, mind you. I certainly remember that fifth grade instructional video, shown to us in warning before lunch hour. I’m aware of the horse-shoe glue used to give the bacon that extra gooey glisten, and the mounds of hidden push pins that keep each layer of foodstuff in place for the two hour photo shoot.

What kept me thinking was the egg. It’s life and it’s aspirations.

“What every egg dreams of becoming.”

First I put myself in the mindset of the egg. Out of the many roads I might take in egg-life, what was so special about becoming an Egg McMuffin? Would I understand that I would not physically BE an Egg McMuffin, but would merely be the egg IN the Egg McMuffin? My egg matter would not be enough to account for that slab of ham or those flaky buns. Sort of how Blue Beetle is a pretty capable character, but he’s only really kicking ass when he’s joined up with the Justice League. And when he’s not dreaming about Herb Peterson.

Blue Beetle is the Egg to Justice League’s McMuffin. Did that register? Okay.

Second question is why does an egg aspire at all? The pathways in life for an egg are few. A: it becomes a chicken. B: it is processed, scrambled, boiled or battered as foodstuff for humans or small reptiles. C: young kids hurl it at peoples houses during Halloween.

But if choice B is preferable, if all an egg really wants to do is satiate other creatures, is this an egg that is aware of the consequences of that process? What are the range of emotions experienced by the egg inside an Egg McMuffin, as it is torn into and digested by morning commuters? Does it acquire sensory perception during this act ?

Is it pleasurable?

And how long is the egg aware of it’s own consuming? If the center of the egg’s self lies merely within a single consciousness, void of pain receptors and physical stimulation, then how long does that consciousness stay in a static location? Does it only exist in the part uneaten, or before it goes through the modes of preparation? Are sections that have been chewed off and swallowed now new material, something non-egg? Does this egg die?

So far I’ve fought an urge to call McDonald’s advertising division to ask some of these pressing questions, as I feel there may be an untapped narrative here.

Imagine a graphic designer, fully educated with a masters degree, given the menial task by some ad executive to create billboards for a breakfast sandwich that probably comes in a can and is heated up in the microwave. Hunched over a portfolio brimming with beautiful illustrations, this man or woman gnashes their teeth and beats their chest, aspirations fading of designing for some upstanding publication, like Kerrang! Magazine.

But they’ll show them, those corporate pigs who wouldn’t know a Buscema from a Davis. This ad will be different. This ad will be humanizing! This will be a story, a philosophical concept, plastered within fourteen by eighteen feet of unadulterated, American advertising.

Man, I’m hungry for some McDonalds.

-Tucker

Tucker Lucas feels that if Blue Beetle is the egg, then Booster Gold is the bun and Martian Manhunter is the bacon.

Boy is my head a spinnin’. About a week or so left before I’m finally finished working at the Fargo Theatre, and The Dead Guy ends this week. Yet I still have the 48 Hour Film contest, and videos to shoot for Logic TV, and a Trollwood video to shoot and edit, anti-smoking vignettes and my own documentary about the Fargo Theatre. And then there’s still MCAT.

Christopher Hitchens is someone I admire. I feel inspired to create a personal heroes page.

I’ve been slowly but surely working my way through The Once and Future King by T.H. White over the past two years, and I’m just about getting through the Wart’s edification. Maybe it’s a lost cause? I first picked it up in 2004 after performing in a production of Camelot, but it’s never really hooked me. I should stop being stubborn and just put the damn thing down, BUT I KNOW IT GETS GOOD LATER ON. Soldier through, soldier through.

Edwards endorsed Obama. My heart is a-flutter.

Made sure to give all the mom’s some love today. Called my dad’s ex-wife, left my sleeping grandma a card, gave my other grandma a call and took the mom out for dinner with the sister, the brother, and the sister’s boyfriend.

All and all a fine mom’s day was had. I’ve posted a Snaturday comic I made for my roommate Sarah in the Comics section on the nav bar to the right. It’s pretty crude humor, which I make no effort to disguise, just fair warning.

I just finished reading a fantastic graphic novel by Craig Thompson called Blankets. The story follows Craig’s life growing up in an Evangelical family, telling of his first love in high school and how it challenged the beliefs he held. I ended up finding some parallels to my own life, the main differences being we were Catholic and I shared a room with a younger sister. Definitely check this one out.

By the way, who is excited for Flight of the Conchords on Tuesday?

This guy!

-MT

Apparently the changes keep on coming.

Maybe it’s the summer air, or maybe it’s the shedding of old responsibilities, but I’ve been in a minimalist mood as of late. So welcome to the new, practically design-less site, which I’m liking a lot. Some older remnants from the brown site remain, like old buttons with brown outsides. When I’ve got some time I’ll work to correct this, and find a way to embrace a wholly new, minimalist style.

But just because it’s minimalist doesn’t mean there shouldn’t be pictures!

(EDIT: According to dictionary.com, revertion is in fact not a word. Fuck you DICKtionary.com!)

Hey everyone. I’ve added a Works page to this site where I’ll be posting various projects I’ve worked on. So far, all of the posters I’ve designed for Theatre B are there. Check it out (menu to the right), I’d love to see what you all think of them.