If you know me, and have attended even one social gathering with me in the past six months, you would understand how thoroughly I despise the game Apples to Apples. Christ this fucking game… where do I start?

It’s basic premise is the “dealer” draws from a pile of cards, each with an adjective written on them. Every player has their own deck filled with nouns. Players hand in a noun a turn to the dealer, who then decides which match up is the silliest. And that’s it.

I’m not shitting you. That’s fucking it. That’s all you do. And as I’m sure you can figure out for your fucking self, people thrive at this game the more ironic the card pairing is. If the adjective is “lovable”, you better hope to Christ you have Hitler in your hand.

Which will happen by the way! Hitler comes up at least once a fucking game. So does Anne Frank. So does Vietnam. This game is lost on me, I’m sorry. How often am I supposed to laugh at, “Artistic! I have Mussolini! He was artistic! He was fucking Italian!”

Go to hell Apples to Apples. Go to hell.

So welcome to the re-design of mother dash tucker dot com. I’m slowly forsaking all of my other points of contribution on the internet, Facebook, MySpace, Xanga etc. for this little piece of land somewhere in the nether regions of the Shasta server, inside the palatial office building where the good people at Dreamhost live.

This is my weblog, my home page, my warehouse, my resume, my museum. As of right now there’s nothing here in the way of videos I’ve made, radio work I’ve done, theatre or artwork that I’d like to display, but these will slowly creep in one by one. Until then, there will always be commentary.

Jesus, I don’t even have links posted yet.

So bookmark me, or subscribe to the RSS feed (I’m not even sure I’ve set THAT up yet), and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.

(NOTE: the current banner image was not created by me, but by some person on the internet whose page I’ve currently lost)

-t

I have fallen in love with Wordpress. And it’s only taken three days of pain and torment!

-mothertucker

Welcome to mother dash tucker dot com.